If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
