Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
