Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
