This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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