i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
