She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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