So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
