She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Congratulations! We have a period
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