I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
