Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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