i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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