addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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