rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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