I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
