I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
