You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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