This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
