you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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