mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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