How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
