You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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