Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
