i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
