I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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