Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
