My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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