dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
