dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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