one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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