yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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