Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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