That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
