well you can't waste a boner
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
