i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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