I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
