Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You work out of a Hotel?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
