I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize