u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize