I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
