Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
