I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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