tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
