I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The ass gains better be worth it
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