my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
