dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
