have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
smell my finger.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
