The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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