Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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