eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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