me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
