Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish they made helmets for livers.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
