You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
