So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize