We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
