I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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