It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
