i don't like sucking hair
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
