that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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