That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's never too late to be topless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize