He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
