do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
