Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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