I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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